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Thursday, July 11, 2002
Lol, Some people have had a hard time deciding which day is which, so I got some splainin to do. Datosh, datosh. I always write about the day before when I sit down to write. Like right now I'm getting ready to write about yesterday, which is Wednesday. Thats why I put the days in bold. If it isn't under a day listed in bold I'm just writing randomly about random stuff, like the post before this. If any one has any questions, please ask. Wednesday I woke up, showered, ate, put close on, but not in that order *smiles*. I then headed to the FSU center to write to you guys. Met up with my family and Carol at 11:30 because thats when my dad's class ends. We then went to Wagamama's which is a oriental food place. The entire class was there *on purpose lol* and we ate. I had this really good prawn and vegetable noodle thing. It was great. *Teehee* Prawns are shrimp in Brit talk lol. After that we jumped on the bus to go to the Hindi Temple, which has a really long name that I can't remember. It was as beautiful as ever. When we were upstairs looking at the statues of their gods the holy music started and the prayers began. While we did not participate we were allowed to watch. It was pertty cool lol. I got some cool stuff at the gift shop, including an aum necklace. Its pretty kickin. Got home, ate soup, and then dad decided that even though NONE of us wanted to see a play, that we were going to. So we all picked up our back packs and went with him. We went to see Rose Rage, which is an adaption of a Shakespeare play. It was really bad and we left halfway through. Like during a break, not during the play. So then we went to Leichester Square and listened to the musicians and got coffee or ice cream depending on who you were. I got coffee, mmhmmmm. I like coffee. Stopped by the FSU center and got on the computer for a half an hour while my dad did dad stuff. I wrote on the blog, but it wouldn't let me post so check below this one. When home, wrote in my journal, wrote to Analise, fell asleep. And so now here I am. I have to leave here at 12 which is 6 in Texas time. From here I go to pack and get ready to go to Venice. I am amazingly excited about Venice. I love Italy, I want to live there someday. Its beautiful and the food is great, the people are friendly. Sarlat, France and Italy are my favorite places in the world, of course with the exception to Austin. Any place that holds so many of my dear ones has to be a favorite. But anyways, that was a warning to any who would like to spend a *long time* with me, I want to live in Italy!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol, I don't know anyone who wouldn't, but of course I haven't asked. I love Our Lady Peace. Buy their new cd Gravity, it is absoultely amazing. I love that cd. Oh, and I love Five Years On The Street, which is a punk compulation cd. I've listened to it with Ben for years and years, but I don't have a copy. I'll probably burn one when I get home. 'Ello Shandsamapoooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Ello V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Ello Celeen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Ello Manda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Celeen, I need to get you a nickname lol. Everyone else up there has one *laughs*. Oh well.... Anyways, these wonderful people wrote me an e-mail and I will try to reply to all, but if not I WOVE OU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh one last thing before I head off. I'm going to write out several musical lines and I want ANYONE with a musical instrument who understands it to see if this works. I spent about a half an hour figuring this out for myself out and am dying to know if this is right. It's the church bells that ring, I think. Someone please tell me if this sounds right. Do Me Re Fa Do So Me Do 1 3 2 4 1 5 3 1 C E D F C G E C First is in solfedge, the second is in scale degree and the third are the notes in the C major scale. Someone please help!!!!!! E-mail at dabopgk@hotmail.com Much love to you all, I'll write on Monday. Good Bless. Becca Wednesday, July 10, 2002
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I just want someone to get online so I can talk to them!!!!!!!!!! Yet, I know for my friends this is a busy time, its only 3:40 p.m. for them and its 9:40 p.m. for me. I WANT YOU TO COME ON NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not going to tell you about today, because thats tomorrows job, though I will tell you some thoughts that I've been having over the past few days. When I see couples, like *normal* couples, boyfriend and girlfriend, it always makes me feel almost emotionaly sick. I feel sad, and then slightly ashamed, then ashamed that I'm ashamed. I don't really like it, I want to be happy for those who have found that *special* someone, no matter who they might be. Sometimes I wish I had that sense of acceptance with the person I love. That she and I could lean on the corner of a statue on London, kissing and flirting and the world would smile upon us. It does on them. *Sighs* Oh well, if that is the price I have to pay for loving Analise, I would be willing to pay it tenfold. *Laughs at self in good way* Another crazy thing I've been doing lately is imagining all of the people around me are gay. No, that doesn't explain it right. Ok, so if I saw two men/women walking around together, I automaticly think they are *together* and it makes me smile. My world is smiling upon them. I'm sure that some of them are, but gosh, not ALL of them lol. I am so very silly. And, well, seeing as this is London, there are gay bars and clubs. And seeing as all of the clubs are next to the theater district, and that I usually see a play every night and walk past the clubs on the way home, I see these clubs. When I walk by I must have a look of awe in my eyes, a longing and a desire to go, like the little boy looking at the toy train he can't quite reach. Its not because I particuarlly want to go to dance or because I want to meet girls or because I want to do anything. It's because I want that sense of belonging, of acceptance. Because I know I could take Analise in my arms there and kiss her and no one would even bat an eye. I wish I could go somewhere like that with her. A kiss quitely stolen in public is quite a treat for any couple. And now for something different. I hope some of you recognized that quote from Monty Python. Please, dear god, I hope someone recognized that quote. Long live Monty Python. I really wish one of you would get on. Any of you. Just get on right now so I can tell you that you're important to me and that you matter. That you make a difference and you're wonderful. Because its true. For each and everyone of you blessed creatures. Good bless you and may you prosper. I have to leave. I've been on 34 minutes, and I had hoped to find one of you on. 34 minutes out of 1440 minutes is not a wide range for chance. I love you Sunshine. I love all of you. Good Bless. Becca Tuesday Woke up, got food, showered, and walked to the FSU center to get on the internet *WOHOOOOOOOOO* exciting aye? After I wrote to you stinky bums *smiles* and sent an e-mail or two I met up with my dad and the rest of the Williams crew and grabbed some sandwiches from Boots. Boots is kind of like Walgreens combined with a gas station with out the gas, if that makes sense at all. Anyways, then Ben, Mom and I went back to the apartment because we really didn't want to go on ANOTHER boat tour to see the SAME boat and the SAME prime meridian all over again. We ate and shopped for groceries and then I came back to the FSU center and talked to Analise, Amber, Celeen and a little bit to Erin. Sorry that I had to leave so suddenly Celeen, but when they say I have to go, I have to leave right then. I love you babe *smiles*. I went home and made pasta for everyone and then we went and saw a play called Lobby Hero. *BLAH* Never ever go see that in London. It was boring and the people had to speak in these horrible New York accents. I have decided I DON'T like New York accents. Went home, wrote in my journal and wrote to Analise, listened to some punk, listened to Vertical Horizon and I went to bed. Sound like fun, aye? It was a little lol, I did get to talk to a lot of my friends yesterday. Eh, my mom was being pissy about the fact that I want to use the computer everyday. I want to and I will write whenever I'm in L-town. Lol, I did the L-town thing for the Austinites. *grins* Hey, sweetheart, I love your poem!!!!!!!! Guess what? I spelled knome wrong. Its acctually spelled with a G ----- like gnome lol !!!! I've had lots of crazy ideas that I wanted to write to you all about but I can't remember one of them. Oops. HI CASEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HI RICKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HI SWEETHEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HI ERIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These people kindly wrote me an e-mail yesterday, and though I may not have time to reply to them all, I love and care about them all very very much. *MUAH*!!!!!!!!!!!! Analise's poem, though not about a gnome, has made me quite giggely, even though its not a word. What I Got Sublime Early in the mornin', risin' to the street, Light me up that cigarette and I strap shoes on my feet. Got to find a reason, reason things went wrong. Got to find the reason why my money's all gone. I got a dalmation and I can still get high. I can play the guitar like a mother fucking riot. Life is too short so love the one you got cause you might get run over or you might get shot. Never start no static I just get it off my (chest). Never had to battle with no bulletproof (vest). Take a small example, take a tip from me.. take all of your money and give it up to charity. Lovin's what I got, It's within my reach (and the sublime style is still straight from Long Beach) It all comes back to you you're bound to get what you deserve. Try and test that, you're bound to get served. Love's what I got, don't start a riot, You feel it when the dance gets hot. Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that. Lovin', is what I got, and remember that. Lovin', is what I got, I said remember that. Lovin', is what I got, I got, I got why I don't cry when my dog runs away. I don't get angry at the bills I have to pay. I don't get angry when my Mom smokes pot, hits that bottle and goes right to the rock. Fuckin and fighting, it's all the same. To live with Louie dog's the only way to stay sane. Let the lovin', let the lovin' come back to me Amen. *Confidental to any one with girly problems* Yeah, I know, girls are hard to get along with, sometimes they KNOW what they want but still can't bring themselves to ASK for what they want. Sometimes they get scared and sometimes they think they're doing whats right and they aren't. Sometimes, when they say the don't love you or want you in that way its true. Sometimes its not. Want my point of view of how to handle both scenarios? HA, well you're getting it anyways- Be nice, be kind, be friendly, be yourself. If they really don't want you *like that* and they're still talking to you it means they still want to be friends. Be nice, kind, friendly to your friends. If they really do like you or love you in *that way* and are just scared, you're not going to get anywhere being mean or angry with them. Trust me, for a long time I was mean AND angry with Analise, she stopped talking to me. We had time apart, I went to Indiana, she went to her grandparents, we got back and were nice to each other. It works that way. Be nice, kind, friendly and yourself. Its cool every once in a while to mention you still *like* or *love* them, just don't force it upon them. If it happens, it'll happen. *shrug* Thats my rant for the day. I don't know if that would work on boys lol, it might. That was addressed to about five people, so don't anyone go spastic and think I'm talking directly to them. A lot of my guy friends and my girl friends have been having trouble with girls. You know, its a pain in the ass, but she *whomever she may be* is most likely worth it. I know my girl was. And now, I am OFFICALLY done with the rant. Love you all. Good bless. Tuesday, July 09, 2002
To everyone that I didn't get a chance to chat with this morning, or at least it was morning to you, I WOVE OU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did get to talk to Analise and Amber and Celeen and that makes me feel a lot better. I'll post more later, I'm heading off to walk back to the flat and make dinner with mi mama. Love you all. Innocent Our Lady Peace Oh Johnny wishes he was famous Spends his time alone in the basement With Lennon and Cobain and And a guitar and a stereo And while he wishes he could escape this But it all seems so contagious Not to be yourself and faceless In a song that has no soul I remember feeling low I remember losing hope and I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are Oh, and Tina's losing faith in what she knows Hates her music, hates all of her clothes Thinks of surgery and a new nose Every calorie's a war And while she wishes she was a dancer And that she'd never heard of cancer She wishes God would give her some answers And make her feel beautiful I remember feeling low I remember losing hope and I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are One day you'll have to let it go You'll have to let it go No One day you'll stand up on your own You'll stand up on your own Never losing hope Never feeling low Never learn the feelings and the day they stop We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are We are, we are all innocent (One day you'll have to let it go) We are all innocent (You'll have to let it go) We are, we are We are, we are all innocent (One day you'll stand up on your own) We are all innocent (You'll stand up on your own) We are, we are We are, we are all innocent It seems that the computer is mistaken, it is NOT 11:30, but 10:45. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... Becca has more time to write......... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I bet V is already to kill me just because of the length of this thing lol. I wove ou girl!!! I am very tired. Right now its 5 am in Texas, which is my home state for those of you that don't know. Oh, I figured out how to get the java version of aim. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I'll post the link right here so I don't forget it. I think that I'm growing in a lot of different ways right now. Being in London is almost like going into silence. Its almost impossible to walk down the streets and talk because the sidewalks are so narrow and there are always people going the other way. I have a lot of think time, though not at all any alone time. I like thinking, I can entertain myself for hours just thinking. *Thinks* Thanks to Sunshine and Donna for the diary, though only Donna gave it to me, the two conspired to get me one. Its helped a lot. I love you girls a whole bunch *looks cute*. I think I reinjured my thumb, not badly though, it just hurts a little. I'm bored, I had my huge writing session already, yet I feel that since I'm on the computer I should be attempting to communitcate with everyone even though you bums are asleep. Lol, plus, because all of the fun game sites that I know don't work here, I'm bored out of my mind. This year instead of going to the internet cafe on Tottenham Court Road, I'm at the FSU center which just added a computer lab. Its great, I don't have to pay for ANYTHING. Or, well, not for internet lol. I wish that someone would get online quite randomly at five in the morning to talk to me........... anyone........ even Bob Dole. By the way I'm leaving on Thursday afternoon to go to Venice so I won't be able to write Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but I will be able to on Monday. On Monday I'll relate the happenings of the weekend, which I'm extremly excited about, I love Italy. Some day I wouldn't mind living there and taking Someone with me *giggles*. The giggle is applied to an inside joke if you were wondering what that meant.... DORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *PLLLLLLPPPPHHHHHTTHHHHHHHHHHHH* *BOING* Just in case you wanted to know. There we go, I changed my template, I didn't like the other one and the writing space was really small. Just tryin' to make it easier on ye bums *smiles*. I can't wait until Conference (a YOU big week long rally). Its going to be a lot of fun. I'm debating running for Regi next year. If I try out for Drum Major and get it, it might be amazingly hard to do both. Plus the set dates for conference are in the middle of the huge vacation my family is taking in July. Next year Zack is coming with us instead of going to our grandparents and we're leaving ten days early to do extra cities. I feel that running for Regi is on my path, but I don't know how soon and I don't know if BEING a regi is on that path. Of course, I've got another whole year if I don't make it and I've got a year now to think about where I want to go. Tis all good. Now I really must go. Love too all. Sorry it took so long, but here's a post. By the way, if you want to get a hold of me write me at dabopgk@hotmail.com. Much wove to all!!!!!!!!!! I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry that its taken me so long to write, its been impossible to find the time to get to a computer. *sighs* The computer won't let me download MSN or AIM. Dang it................ *Takes deep breath* And now for the story of my trip........... Friday/Saturday On Friday when I got of the phone with Analise and Celeen (I was using the cell phone and we were driving to the airport) we pulled into the Parking Spot and all of the lots were full. My dad was super pissed because we were running late and he peeled out of the parking lot in my mom's VAN. Lol, I have never ever seen someone peel out in a van before, I was amazed and slightly scared. Anyways, we were running super late, and we almost missed the 35 minute deadline for being at the airport before the plane leaves. We didn't though *shrugs*. The plane ride wasn't all that bad, it was only like 8 and a half hours long. I didn't watch any of the movies, nor did I read a single page. I spent the entire time thinking, listening to music or writing. I wrote about fifteen pages, of which half were even written to or about Analise *grins*. I had a really good feeling, just an "I'm alive, I know it and I love it" feeling. It was great. We got off the plane and went through the whole two hours of standing in line, showing papers getting luggage. Some how, though I'm not sure how, my mom and I got angry at each other. Just kind of pissed, not like the screaming fights that often happen. When we got on the train she sat next to me and whispered in my ear, "Lets start over." Sooooooooooo, we did. Got to Victoria station and we went to the street to get a cab. My mom and dad took one cab and Carol, Ben and I took another. Now some of you may be wondering "Whose Carol?" Well, Carol is acctually Dr. Thompson, the other proffessor that is teaching Leadership London with my dad. She is SOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Carol. Anyways, I almost fell out of the cab, long story, and then got to the FSU center to get the keys, then to the JP house to put our luggage up. Once we had done that we went and grabbed some not so good pizza, *makes face* the boy's vegi pizza had corn on it, and then headed back to the flat to sleep for an hour or two. We slept then went to meet Carol at our favorite Italian resturant, but it was closed, so we just went to a little diner and ate there. Then it was time for a little bit of Shakespeare comedy. We met up with my Uncle Mike and his long time partner Cliff and headed to the Globe to see Twelth Night. It was absoultely hilarious. The actors preformed it as it was in the old days, with men playing the womens part, *grins* that was quite interesting............ But, back to the point, it was a great play. On the tube on the way back (the tube is the underground railway station) I saw a male couple holding hands and one of them had his arm around the other. It made me feel good inside to know that no one was screaming fag or gay at them. It was just like they were another one of those couples... Got home, wrote in my journal and to Analise, popped some Vertical Horizon into my cd player and slept. Sunday My dad and I woke up early and headed to Speaker's Corner. If you don't know, Speaker's Corner is a place in Hyde Park where, on every Sunday, people come to speak their minds about anything they want to. They bring little stools or soap boxes and stand on top of them and talk to the crowds that come to listen. We took the long way and walked down one of the busiest streets in London, though I can't remember what it was called. Got some coffee and headed to the park. Just a quick side note, one of the men there was preaching Christianity and he had these kick ass pants on. They were black and down the side it said "Jesus is Lord." Now, that might sound dorky, but trust me, I would wear these pants and I'm not even Christian!!! Now, back to the story.... When we got there we went to go see a man my dad had seen speak before, dad said that he was very funny. We got there and he was holding a sign that said Iran 7-11. So, if you didn't get it he was talking about the possiblity of the US invading Iran because of the 9-11 incident. He talked about how America was doing things all wrong, about how they were killing innocent people and the like and then an American boy jumped in and started talking right back. They fought for awhile and then an Islamic man who was standing infront of me joined in. *Pssshhhhhhhttttttt* Any one can join in if they want to.... Anyways, they ALL fought for awhile, discussing military actions all the way back to WWI and once or twice the British man and the Islamic man said that America is a disease. Finally, the speaker left and the American boy had to leave. When the American boy left, he shook the Islamic mans hand and said I hope you don't get the disease. I was enjoying this SOOOOO much!!! He left and the Islamic man turned to leave and his friend said as he pointed at me 'She is American, she is angry at you too.' And then the Islamic man and I began to talk. I wasn't mad, or even at unease, I told them that I agreed that America wasn't doing the right thing and was killing innocent people. I said that he had every right to worship Allah and I had the right to worship how I chose. We talked for awhile and then had to leave. When I shook his hand he said, 'America is not a disease,' smiled and then we parted. It was a good feeling. Then we went on a four hour bus tour of London, which I have taken two times already. BORING. After the bus trip, my family headed out into the world of London. We ate at a random Ti place (I have no idea how to spell that) and then walked to King's Cross Station, where Harry Potter leaves for Hogwarts every year. We had heard that there was a plaque up and that you could take your picture there, and because it was quite new, we hadn't done that yet, so we were really kind of excited lol. We went and found platform nine and platform ten but couldn't find 9 and 3/4. Finally we asked someone and were directed to an office where we borrowed the sign and took pictures. *Smiles* It was quite fun. Got home, wrote in my journal and to Analise, Vertical Horizon and then to sleep. Monday Woke up, ate, showered, and headed to the FSU center. By the way, thats where my dad teaches while he's here. Waited until class was done and then grabbed a bite to eat with Carol and my family at a little bakery. Then, it was off to Westminister Abbey, my favorite tour of the whole trip. I've done it three times and I still enjoy it. My mom has seen it seven times, and SHE still enjoys it. Its fun. My Uncle Mike and Cliff came along with us to that tour and then we walked around downtown London with them, ate dinner and saw Minority Report. Good movie. Really good movie. I liked it alot. Got home, wrote in my journal and wrote to Analise, Vertical Horizon and popped into bed. Now just an overview of my week so far lol. I don't HAVE a bed. I sleep on two chairs that are turned on their back and pushed together with the cushins and extra pillows padding it. Not very comfortable. I've seen a couple male couples and a couple female couples, something that I've never seen before out in the open, not even in London. Lol, maybe I just wasn't looking for them before. Anyways, it makes me happy and it makes me more comfortable here, though it doesn't really matter because my girl isn't here *tears for us*. Obviously, or I guess not so obviously if you didn't get it, my uncle is gay. You would think that I would have a close relationship with him because I'm bi, but I don't have one at all with him. I see the man once a year at Christmas, sometimes twice if he and Cliff happen to be traveling in Europe at the same time that we are. Another thing is that Cliff is black, so not only are they breaking the sex barrier but also the race. I'm proud of them for that. I miss my girl soooooo much. It's really hard not to be able to talk to her every night. On Saturday night on the way back from the Globe I was thinking about what I was going to tell her when I called her. Lol, I guess that didn't happen. I'm doing ok with the distance though, I've been happy the whole trip and I'm not going crazy, so thats a good thing. I miss her and think about her constantly. I love you sweetheart, you are wonderful. I miss you all, you're all amazing people. Good bless you. Hey, V, could you tell me how to get that kind of AIM that you have. I was thinking that the computer might let me do that because it doesn't have to be downloaded. Thanks *muah*. I must go, my daddy's class is almost over and I have to meet up with him for lunch. Much love to all. I'll try to post as much as I can, but as you can possibly tell, Becca is berry berry busy. I wove ou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And ou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |