Becca over seas, scary aye?

 
Ok, so here it goes, my last post of the year, I hope you all enjoy it.

On Tuesday when I woke up, I took a shower and left with my dad. We did the whole Starbucks and muffins thing *yay for muffins* and then we went to the FSU center. I did e-mail and blogger until it was time for lunch and then my Dad and I went to Pizza Hutt, yes they do have those in England, and ate lunch. He and I had a really good conversation. He asked a million questions about YOU and about me being a Regi. It felt like it was important to him.

After we ate we went back to the FSU center, I checked my e-mail one last time and then went to meet my mom and the London Phsyic Society. She and I met at the tube stop on accident and proceeded to walk together. She had gone to a private session earlier that day just for fun and was telling me about it. It was all fine and dandy until she said she had mentioned that I was "gay". The phsycic told my mother that in fact, I'm not "gay" in the end. It made me want to scream. What right did that guy have to say anything about my sexuality!?! Even if I was straight. Now my mom has this glimmer of hope that I will indeed end up with a boy. As far as I can see, the chance of that happening is about 1 in a 1000. Grrrhhh.

Anyway, we went to the public demonstration and then went home. That was interesting, not convincing, but interesting, the demonstration I mean.

We got home, I ate and then we left to go to the Globe.

There was a play by Marlowe on the Globe, very contraversal.

AND THATS AS FAR AS I GOT

Sorry guys, I'm kind of sick of writing all of this detailed, I did this, this and this stuff. After a month of entries, I am done.

I had a blast writing to you guys and I learned a whole bunch. I appreciate your support through out everything.

Now, the whole idea of me writing in this this blogger is so I don't give everyone I know my actual blogger addy. I've decided to screw that plan. If you would like to read about my everyday life you might want to check out this really great site called Inside Of Me. Its not really like ths one at all. I'm not documenting my days but writing my feelings, my frusterations, my joys. And yes, I have no idea how to spell frusteration. *Yay for bad spelling*.

Much love until next year's euro month.

Feel Free. Good Bless.


posted by Becca at 2:50 PM

 
I don't have much time, but I don't want to forget everything I've done over the last few days, so I'm going to take some notes here. You can read those and try to piece together my very busy days.

Tuesday

Woke up, FSU, e-mail, blogger, lunch w/Dad at pizza hut, good convo, more e-mail, met Mom for phsyic society, angry about what guy said, flat, ate, Marlowe at the Globe, emotion and hurt, resolution, Rebecca and Ben, sleep.

Wednesday

Woke up late, walked around with Mom and Zack, did shopping, met Dad, had Tiy *sp* food, went to Camden Market with Mom, got cool stuff, came home, ate food, talked to Sara, Mom went out with the *girls* and then Ben, Dad, Zack, Rebecca and I went to a pub, weird apple pie, packing, sleep.

Thursday

Woke up, shower, food, Waterloo Station, met Sara, walked the Thames, chilled at the Tate Modern, saw really awesome sculpture/explosion Celeen told me about, ate at Starbucks, talked rally stuff and England stuff, walked back to the station, said good bye, missed her, got on tube, bumped into Mom, searched for a surprise-that-you-all-can't-know-about-and-I'm-not-going-to-tell-you, walked around for a long time carrying heavy stuff, got home, Rebecca's present to Becca, ate food, FSU, typing this note.

I miss you.
posted by Becca at 1:33 PM

 
Ayeyiyi, I have a lot of stuff to write about. Ok, well, I better get started, but just so you're forwarned, its gonna be a lot.

On Thursday I woke up, ate, took the tube to the FSU center, did the e-mail-blogger thing and went back to the flat. I kind of sat around being crabby all morning, doing absolutely nothing until my mom asked me to help clean and I did. After I cleaned, I packed and waited some more. My dad and Ben finally showed up and then we headed off to the tube, then to the train and then to the airport.

When we got to the airport, we checked in and then went through security. My mom and I got into a little fight about my sexuality, again, and then we sat down at the gate and did nothing for an hour. I read most of the time. I restarted One: a novel by Richard Bach for a second time since I bought the book. I didn't finish it the first time.

We rode on the plane, I read.

We got to Germany, I read.

We got to the hotel, I read.

I finished the book around 12:30 and went to bed. Good book, not the best that I've ever read, interesting though. I agree with the idea that time is NOW and that there is only one now.

When I woke up on Friday I took a shower and then woke the boys. We repacked all of the stuff that we had gotten out and then headed for the car.

We drove around for a while until we found a bakery. We picked up some bakery goods, ate them, and then jumped in the car again. We proceeded to drive for three hours.

In a small aside, I would just like to tell you how beautiful Germany is. It is gorgeous. When people hear the word "Germany" many think of Nazis. That is not what Germany is about, at all. That is its past, just like the time you got in trouble at school is past. I'm not saying we shouldn't remember it, because history has infinite wisdom hidden it it, but we should realize that it is past and that it is not in the infinite now. Any way, I spent three hours looking out a window, listening to music and looking at Germany. It is gorgeous. It has rolling hills and high cliffs. It has wide rivers and fields of grain. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. Now, take into account all of the places I've been, which I must admit have been alot, and you will be surprised and Germany's beauty.

After the long drive, we stopped in Vircksberg *excuse the spelling please* and walked to a supermarket. We bought strawberries, tomatoes, cherries, cheese, two big bottles of water, cookies, mustard, pickles, salami and the most important of all, pretzel bread. My parents have traveled Germany a lot and they've only been able to find pretzel bread in one place- Vircksberg. Go there, its good.

When we had our food, we walked back to the palace we had parked at, went into the garden and had a grand picknic. Picknics are the most enjoyable parts of our trip. We just sit, eat a little of this, a little of that, talk, relax and look at the beautiful landscape. So much fun.

As soon as we finished eating, we went inside the palace and explored a bit. Some of the rooms were closed and the most beautiful part of the entire palace was hidden under scaffolding. It was still really nice.

We drove for another hour and arrived in Rotenberg. I'm going to try and describe it to you without going to deeply into history. Basically, Rotenberg is one of the last remaining walled cities. It is entirely encompassed within about a square mile of wall. It dates back into the 1200's and is preserved baskically from the 1700's because of the poverty that rendered it helpless after it was defeated in the 30 Years War, which was a war between the Catholics and Protestants. Rotenberg was a Protestant Lutheran city. Any way, it is gorgeous and it feels like stepping back in time. The hotel we stayed at was 600 years old. Pretty kicking if you ask me.

After we took our stuff to the room we went to go get dinner. We ate dinner at this really good Italian place. I know, why were we eating Italian in Germany!?! Well, Germany's one food group is meat and both my Dad and Ben are vegitarians, so Italian it was.

At dinner I got in a fight with Ben, one of our few. He was making fun of me and one of my friends, I won't say who because it still makes me mad, but I couldn't take it any more. He had been doing it the entire trip. I finally asked him to stop and he continued for several minutes. I asked him to stop again, he didn't. I got up and left the table. I stood outside until my dad paid the tab and we left for the Night Watchman's Tour. I was really angry at Ben.

The Night Watchman's Tour was cool, it was this guy dressed up in medieval dress walking around with a big axe and talking about history. Pretty cool.

After the tour we went back to the rooms, Dad and Ben went out and got a few beers, I worked on the regi book and then went to bed.

The day that comes after Friday is of course, Saturday!!!!!!! We woke up, did the shower thing, did the at breakfast thing and then we packed everything and put it in the car.

We then proceeded to walk the wall around the city. Lots of great views and just an intriguing hour or so. It was lots of fun.

After the wall we went to the Medieval Crime and Punishment Museum. That was very interesting to say the least. They had all kinds of weird punishments for almost everything from gossiping to much to baking bread to small. Crazy poo right there, let me tell ya.

We walked around some more and ducked into a few stores. There was one that was all about the medieval dress. Shands could have spent hours in there, trust me, it was awesome.

Drove in the car, got some more bread and cheese, ate next to the river, drove three hours back to the first hotel, took our stuff out of the car, and then we drove an hour to Cocum *once again, excuse my spelling*. The drive there was magnificent. The Germans grow a lot of grapes believe it or not and they are growing them on the sides of cliffs. Throw a river and ancient towns in to that and you have a very entertaining car ride. I did a lot of thinking during the car rides by the way.

We walked around Cocum, ate some more Italian food, and then walked back to the car. Ben, Zack and I had a lot of fun trying to trip each other while my mom got angry at us. It was a blast. Yay for being young, silly and annoying.

We drove to the hotel, I checked my e-mail *amazingly enough, they had e-mail there* and I went to bed.

On Sunday I woke up at 6:00 am, which, because of the time difference from Germany, would have been 11:00 pm to you, and got online. NO ONE WAS ON. Very frusterating. I had hoped to catch Mayra and maybe someone from the Cabinet. Nope. I did get to talk to Andrew, a good guy from my school. That was fun.

When everyone woke up, we packed, got in the car and proceeded to drive back through Cocum and then another 30 minutes or so. When we finally stopped, we were at Berg Eltz, a super old castle.

Zack had gotten sick on the ride there, the roads weren't so good and the fact that my dad was driving like a mad man didn't help. Zack and my mom took a van down to the castle while the rest of us walked down. Beautiful views.

We did the castle thing, walked around, looked at stuff. It was cool, very interesting, I just wish we had a guide that spoke English instead of German. Oh well.

Mom and Zack took the van back up and then everyone else did the walk up the incline thing. I am really out of shape by the way. I need to start running.

We got in the car, drove to the airport, sat around waiting. I started reading The Master. I can't remember the author. Any way, I finished that on the plane, took notes and quotes in the regi book and thought about spirituality.

We landed in London, got on a bus, rode to a tube stop, took the tube home, watched a cool tv show about elephants, went to bed.

Yesterday was Monday. I woke up kind of late, around 8:00, and hung around the house with Ben and Rebecca. Ben went and worked out and then took a shower. Then the three of us went to Camden Market.

That was absolutely kicking. It was the kind of thing that Shands and I could spend days at. Lots of music and food and crazyness everywhere. Very cool.

I bought a pair of earings and I also got a coin purse with an aum on it. Its cool.

We went home after that, hung around, Rebecca went and layed down in our room and shortly after I followed her because of my headache. She and I talked for a long time and then, slowly, the rest of the Williams clan came in to my room. We hung out in there, talked, and then got ready to go.

We ate at Witherspoon's, a pub, and then we went to We Will Rock You, the musical by Queen and Ben Elton. No, not Elton John as my mom thought, Ben Elton, a famous musical guy.

That was hilarious and I kept thinking that I missed Celeen. She likes Queen and she would have thought it was all ridiculous, just like I did. It was great fun.

We all came home and then we slept.

*Breathes Deeply*

Ok, so today is Tuesday, but I can't tell you about that, because it hasn't happened yet. So now, for more interesting drivel.

I'm tired. I'm having a really hard time sleeping because the bed is so hard and my neck and my wrists are getting progressively worse. Ouchy boo boo.

I'm having fun. I like Rebecca a lot. She's a great girl and she's going to be my sister in law. Not offically, mind you, but they were talking about it, in front of my family. Ben loves her a lot.

They make me sick. Lol, ok, not sick, but depressed. Its hard to see them at the flat, talking to my mom, holding each other's hand. Its hard to see my dad buy them dinner and make little jokes with them. I know that I can't have that. I know that my mom gets sick at even the thought of a girl in my life. I know my dad simply refuses to think about it. I know that they have to get used to it soon, because I'm not going to not fall in love.

Besides that, I'm doing just fine. Its kind of strange, for the last two trips, on the third week of the trip I would fall apart. Both times it was because of my overwhelming feelings for Analise. The first was because I realized that I was bi and I liked her and the second time was because she and I broke up. Right now she and I are going through some relationship stuff again, and yet I'm ok. I'm doing perfectly fine. I miss her but I'm not letting it tear me apart. I love her, but I don't know in what way or how much. I'm not trying to define it. I'm just letting it be. God, this is so different. I like not falling apart.

Mayra has been great about it, thanks babe. I've had my share of crazy love triangles and I'm glad to say there isn't one this time. I still like Mayra a lot, and some day when Analise and I get our shit figured out, I would really like to spend some time with her.

I'm coming home on Friday. I'll be home in the late afternoon and then I plan on driving to Shands' house. Somewhere in there I'll call Analise. I don't know if I'll be able to get online until then, I'll try, but the last week is always hectic.

Feel Free and Good Bless.

posted by Becca at 5:30 AM

 
I've decided that I really like myself. I'm a pretty cool person.

And now for something completely different.........................

WEDNESDAY

Yesterday morning, I woke up took a shower, hung around the house, ate an apple and then walked to the FSU center with Rebecca. Not me, the other one *giggles*. We checked our e-mail and I wrote in my blogger. Then we met the rest of my family and got lunch.

We headed to the National Gallery, or in other words, Lots and Lots O'Paintings. I wheeled my Grandaddy around in his wheelchair for two straight hours, writing down my thoughts so he could read them (he's deaf) and having a great time. Everyone else went on the tour. It was so great to spend time with him, to actually have conversations with him. I don't think that I have ever had a real conversation with him before and I'm 17. He is wonderful.

After the Gallery, we headed home by bus and Rebecca and Ben made dinner again. This time it was vegi stirfry with mushroom tofu. It was really good.

My grandparents left and I was sad to see them go. I won't see them again until Christmas. Distance sucks.

Ben and Rebecca left for the night and I went to my room, cut up some magazines and fell asleep.

€£€£€£€£€£€£€£€£€

Sister Hazel is the bomb diggity. Period. They, along with Vertical Horizion, are my favorite bands. Heck yeah.

Your Winter
Sister Hazel

Grey ceiling on the earth
Well it's lasted for a while
Take my thoughts for what they're worth
I've been acting like a child
Your opinion, and what is that?
It's just a different point of view
Ooh, yeah

What else, What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry, Oooh
I said I'm sorry, but what for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
I don't want to hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose your pain?
If you only knew how much I love you, love you

I won't be your winter
And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven, Ooh yeah
And I will be here

Old picture on the shelf
It's been there for a while
A frozen image of ourselves
We were acting like a child
Innocent and in a trance
A dance that lasted for a while, Ooh

You read my eyes just like your diary,
Ooh remember, please remember, Oooh
Well, I'm not a beggar, but what's more
Is If I hurt you, then I hate myself, I don't wanna hate myself, don't wanna hurt you
Why do you choose that pain?
If you only knew how much I love you, Noo

I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
And I will be here, Oooh

Nooo, I won't be your winter, I won't
Cause I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven, I know
And I will be here

I won't be your winter, I won't
And I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven, Whoa I know
And I will be here

This song gets me right in the gut. It makes me feel. I feel a lot when I hear this song.

This stuff with Analise is strange. She and I are finally saying that we want to be with each other, but by no means does either of us want to be together. Distance and time do strange things to relationships.

If you only knew how much I love you

If you want advice, here it is. Don't define love. I tried to, hurt myself, hurt her, hurt our friends. Don't define love or feelings, go with it, flow with it. Just be; No expectations.

I wish I could talk to Mayra about this on the phone or something. She and I haven't talked to each other for weeks.

Feel Free.
posted by Becca at 4:05 AM

 
Yesterday was TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!! How exciting!!!

I started out the day by waking up, taking a shower and walking to the FSU center with my Daddy. When we got there I did the e-mail thing and the blogger thing and then we met Ben, Rebecca, Zack and Mom to go get some food.

We ate next to the Tower Hill tube stop with a few of the students and then we walked to the Tower of London *minor chord here*. There we met the grandparents and the students with the tour guide. My dad went and did his professor thing while the rest of the family spent the entire time showing our grandparents around. It wasn't the best time that I had in my life, but it was ok.

After the Tower, we took the London buses back to the flat. Carol and her husband Bob came over and we had a grand dinner party. Ben and Rebecca fixed a wonderful meal of vegi tacos and some sangria. Sangria is a Spanish drink with wine and fruit juice. We did the whole eat dinner and talk thing and then my grand parents and the Thompsons left.

We cleaned up and then I went and listened to some Sister Hazel while I cut things out of magazines. Then I took a nap.

I woke up at 12:00 and called Analise. She told me to call back in thirty minutes. I took another nap, and the called Analise. It was really great, I got to talk to Shands and Vanessa as well as Analise. I miss all of them and I can't wait until I get to see them. Shands, of course, lives twenty minutes away from me and soon, so will V. She's going to TCU so she and I will be able to hang all the time. I get to see Analise at conference. That should be interesting.

She and I talked stuff out last night. She and Daniel broke up. We decided that if I was there or if she was here, we would be together, but that is the extent of it. No long distance shit, no trying to make it work. At least we've both learned from that experince.

I don't know what I'm going to do in the next year relationship wise. I am still very much attracted to Sunshine, any one who has seen us together could have told you that. However, no way in hell I'm waiting for a year. Its not worth the lonlieness. I don't want to be commited to anyone while I still feel this way about Analise, because it wouldn't be fair to the other person. So, I guess, I'm just going to "date" people until I feel I can commit. There isn't a wide market of girls who just want to date, so I'll have to see how that goes. I would like to be intimate with someone, in a spiritual, sweet way, but I don't know if I can do that without the commitment.

Whatever happens happens. I'll figure it out when I get there.

*Muah*
posted by Becca at 5:48 AM

 
Thursday, after I left the FSU center, I rode the tube home and cleaned my room. We packed everything for the trip and then proceeded to sit around the flat, waiting forever to leave. Finally we did.

We took the tube to Paddington Station and from there took the Heathrow Express to Heathrow Airport. We checked in, got on the airplane, got to Madrid, found our hotel and slept. Sleep is good.

Friday morning we slept in and then quickly got ready. Ben and I took charge of the trip, because we know more Spanish than the rest of the family, and started out by finding a place to eat. It was sooooooo good. I had ham and a sunny side up egg. MMMMMMHMMMMM. The British breakfast of bread was smashed to pieces.

After we ate, we walked to one of the main squares, Something de Sol. It had a huge statue of a bear eating strawberries off of a strawberry tree. I didn't think that strawberries grew on trees, but you never know. After we wandered around there for a few minutes we walked to yet another square, Something de Mayor. Can you tell that I'm blanking on the names? It looked almost exactly like the huge square in Venice (yes, I have been there) without the huge masque looking Catholic church. Venice was strange. Any way, we took the scenic route to the Real Palace *in Spanish* or the Royal Palace *in English*. It was huge and magnificent. Ben was giddy with excitement the entire time and his enthusiasm spread through out the family. It was one of the best day trips we ever had.

After gazing around the palace for an hour or so, we headed back to the hotel and took our siesta. I worked on the regi book, made a pretty picture and wrote the beginning of my intro to the region.

When everyone woke up, we took yet another walking tour. However, this time we did a FOOD walking tour!!! Muy interestante. We went to five or six different tapas bars. No, not topless bars, TAPAS bars. Basically, we walked from bar to bar, eating their appetizers, drinking whatever. My parents and Ben drank lots of fun stuff *smiles*, my mom was even a little bit tipsy by the end of the night. Any way, it was great, so much fun. Oh, at this one place I ate calamari (squid), shark meat, octopus and shrimp. The shrimp isn't all that big a deal but the rest are pretty bitchin. Yay for fun. After we ate our fill of tapas, we went and got churros and chocolate. Churros are long, fried, thick pieces of bread. You dip those in a cup of dark chocolate pudding and then eat them. Good stuff.

We went home, I finished writing the intro to the region and went to bed.

When we woke up the next morning, Saturday morning that is, we showered and walked to breakfast. That was good food, I like Spanish food.

After that, we jumped on the Spanish Metro and headed to the modern art museum. It was really sweet but I didn't get to walk around it as much as I had liked. All of the works were really interesting and I got to see a huge room of Picasso's work, as well as several other really famous artists, but for some reason I can't remember their names right now. Very cool, I wish we had had more time to see it.

We grabbed lunch and Burger King after that *grumble grumble* and I got a wicked pair of sunglasses. Burger King sunglasses. Kickin.

We then went across the street to the Prada, the main art museum in all of Spain. We wandered around there for a really long time, loosing parts of the family at different times, thus making it much more interesting. Ben has taken a couple art analysis classes in college so he explained a lot of the techniques and reason behind the paintings. It was a blast. We saw an exhibit on Titian that was really cool. My favorite painting of his is amazing. Saddly, I can't remember the name. For some reason I'm blanking on all names today. Any way, it is a picture of Jesus praying in the garden before he is arrested. He is high up on a hill and the light from the moon is shinning directly on him. In the right corner are the guards coming to take him away, carrying a lantern. The rest of the picture is amazingly dark, and though you know there are shapes in the darkness, you can't tell what they are. Very cool.

We also saw some Goya and that guy was pretty sweet too. I enjoyed it.

After the Prada, I was feeling pretty sick, so we decided to go get some food. We couldn't find food so I got some sunflower seeds from a vender and dealt with it.

We then walked back to the Something de Mayor and Ben had his picture drawn, at the request of my mommy, while the rest of us window shopped. I bought some castenets. Very cool.

We walked back to the hotel, chilled for about thirty minutes, and then walked across the street for some vegitarian cuisine. Mind you, Zack had Mc Donald's before we went. The food was great and the vegi boys enjoyed it to a great extent.

Then we went to bed.

We ate breakfast at the same place on Sunday morning and then we walked again to the Something de Mayor.

There was a huge coin and stamp market there, kind of interesting, but none of us collect either so we walked to another market. We walked through it very quickly and then walked back to Mayor, fought a little bit, resolved everything, walked back to the market. After that it was smooth sailing.

At the market I got several cool things. I got a pair of kick ass sandles, girls, you will be jealous, an aum head band thingie, a funky hat and a purse........ for my cousin. Ha ha, gotcha.

After that we went to the hotel, got our bags, went to the airport, waited several hours, answered questions Bruce sent me, ate some food, got on a plane, got to London, came home, tried on the sandles, talked to family and then, I went to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was the best part.

So, yesterday was Monday. I woke up, cleaned myself, put clothes on and came to the FSU center with my dad. Things are getting much better with him, by the way. Any way, I read a lot of e-mails, answered most of them, wrote a huge ass e-mail to the Innies and consultants which included both my intro to the region and my answers to all of those questions. I read some e-mails from Analise and worried about her.

Ben went and picked Rebecca up from the Victoria Station somewhere in that time. I didn't see them until this morning.

The rest of the family met my grandparents at the Victoria and Albert Museum. I gave my grandparents a tour for about 4 hours, even though I had never been there before. I did a pretty good job at both being very patient with my Grandmama and finding things they liked. I was, however, very tired when we were through.

We parted with my grandparents and ate dinner. Mom headed home while Dad, Zack and I took a 30 min tube ride to Tower Hill to meet the class for the Jack the Ripper tour. Very cool. The guide is awesome. He is an actor and therefore is amazingly dramatic and gruesome about the whole tour. The best part about the tour is watching everyone's faces as he describes the wounds of the victims. The girls are particuarly fun to watch. I, of course, laughed when I wasn't supposed too, every time I wasn't supposed too. I always find that tour so amusing, in a strange way. I have a very different sense of humor. *Shrugs* I enjoy it very much.

After the tour, 3/4s of the class stopped at a pub. My dad, Zack and I joined them. It was alot of fun. I hung out with Carol and got to know some of the students, finally. I know two of their names now, Bree and Summer. I've decided that any one named Bree is gorgeous. I've met two in my life so thus far my theory stands uncontested. We had fun.

My dad sent Zack and I home early while he stayed out with the class. Party animal Dad. Very scary.

I came home, cut out lots of stuff from a magazine, tried calling Analise three times, realized I wasn't dialing the right international code, talked to Yolanda *Analise's mommy*, found out Shands and Megan are in Austin and that Ricky was having a party, spent a long time trying to call Ricky's house, called Analise's cell phone, told her to answer Ricky's phone, talked to Shands for thirty seconds, Analise for a few minutes and then proceeded to worry more. By this point in time my nerves were shot, much like they were when she broke up with me last year, while I was in London. Very weird feelings and I don't know why.

When I got off the phone at midnight, Ben and Rebecca got home from the concert that they had gone to. They seemed so happy together. They ARE so happy together. Its great. Rebecca is very sweet and very intelligent. She makes Ben happy and thats all I care about. We talked for awhile, had some good laughs, and then I went to bed exhausted.

All Done

These last few days have been kind of weird on an emotional level for me. Everything in Spain has a sun on it. Something de Sol. Sol= Sun. Analise= Sunshine. Thats the nickname/petname I gave her while we were dating. I still call her Sunshine sometimes because it still fits. Suns were everywhere in Spain. I had weird dreams the entire time. In one she was trying to get me to kiss her. I wouldn't because I was dating someone named Lindsay or Jessica. I can't remember which. The entire time my heart was breaking because I wanted to. Last night I had a dream that I was in love with a girl named Isabell. For some reason she and I got separated and I spent the rest of the night searching for her. When I woke up the first thing that popped into my head was Analise's name. Since bi-regi she and I have had some weird feelings for each other. I finally released all of the pain I had during our relationship and she realized that she wasn't over me. The entire situation was flipped. I still feel really strange about it.

I think she and I need to talk this out.

*Eep* This feel kind of weird, writing that on here. For one I know that Analise will read this, but I also know that Mayra will read this. I like Mayra, a lot. I don't want anything to mess up the chance that she and I have of being friends or of being more than friends. The situation is just strange in general. Lots of emotion over even more distance.

Oh, one last thing before I sign off for the day, sorry for my grammatical and spelling mistakes. I'm having to write these super quick, Speed Typer Becca style. I don't have time to go back and correct the silly mistakes that I make, even though I want to. *Grits teeth* I hate grammatical and spelling mistakes, you have no idea. I feel silly going back and reading my words and seeing them jumbled.

I'm in love with Clarity. You all know that.

Feel Free and Good Bless.




posted by Becca at 5:32 AM

 
Yesterday, Wednesday that is, I woke up, took a shower and wait for my father to get back from lifting weights. As soon as he did we left, got some Starbucks and came to the FSU center. I checked my e-mail, wrote a butt load in my blogger, as you can see by yesterday's post and did a lot of writing more e-mails to people who had written me. Yay for computer access.

Believe it or not I finally had a conversation with a few of my father's students!!! After I was done on the computer I was sitting outside their classroom reading Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury waiting for them to finish. When they came out, one of the tall guys asked me what I was reading and we discussed Ray Bradbury books for a few minutes. It was great. By the way, please read Dandelion Wine. It is an amazing book. His writing is breathtaking and it makes you feel alive. Alive in the sense of connected, of centered, of I love live and I can do anything. Great book.

Any way, we left the FSU Center and we went to Wagamama's, a oriental food place a few streets down. We ate lunch with the students and I talked to some more of them *is proud*. I still don't know any of their names.

After we ate, Carol, Zack, Dad, one of the students and I walked back to the flat while my mom and Ben went and did grandparent duty and the Tate Art Museum. The student is a really good guy, funny and nice. He was telling Carol and I about how he was going to propose to his girlfriend when he got home from London. He looked so wonderfully happy.

We waited at the flat for around thirty minutes and I showed Carol the regi book. It was really nice to have someone to discuss it with. She loved Donna's art and we joked about bad handwritting, mine and Carol's in particular. It was fun.

When the charter bus arrived we rode to the Hindu Temple and proceded to do the tour again. This was my fourth trip there and I still didn't understand Hinduism, though I must say that I've tried. Our guide gave a much more in depth explanation this time and though I don't think I have it all figured out, I think that I understand on a much greater level. It was a beautiful and wonderful site, as it always has been.

We rode the bus home and then met the other half of my family at the flat. My grandparents wanted to eat McDonald's and for the first time in our trip I ate American food. It wasn't all that great to tell you the truth. Oh well, I got ice cream out of it.

My dad and Ben escorted my grandparents home while the other three of us went to the flat. I spent the remainder of the evening in my room, cleaning up and thinking. I went to bed around 10:00.

*Tada*

Thats the end of yesterday and I have to tell you all quickly before I leave that I won't be able to check e-mail for the next few days. I'm leaving this afternoon to go to Madrid, Spain. We have never been to Spain so this is particuarly exciting.

I love you all very much and I miss you. I want you to know that if I haven't mention your name or something like that, it isn't because there is a lack of me missing you, there is a lack of me missing you when I sit down and write these things. I cannot emphasize how much you all mean to me. Every single one of you. I may not have even talked to you before (I know how these addys get passed around), but trust me, I care for you and I wish you the best. You are all wonderful.

Good Bless.

posted by Becca at 3:44 AM